You like rock don't you? I mean, who doesn't?
Could it be, that people are afraid? Long long ago in a galaxy far far away there was a time where a good rock show at a coliseum would cost you about fifteen bucks and perhaps a night of standing in line in the freezing cold drinking apple schnapps to get a ticket. You put a can of spray in your hair and piled into a very very small car and travelled to New Haven or some such place to have the rockingest night of your life! Over and over again, year after year, until, one day, you woke up and Ozzy was a TV star and your tickets to KISS set you back a full weeks salary. What the fuck happened? The Internet? Mp3's? Did video really kill the radio star?
Do you like rock? Do you want to pile into a car with a bunch of your friends and go to a show and have the rockingest night of your life? Do you want to re-live the thumb-upping, sweat dripping, Marshall amplified nights of your youth?
The Darkness will satisfy.
The Darkness, yes. For those of you who are sadly uninformed, The Darkness, that amazing band whose riffs you have been missing, re-formed. THREE YEARS AGO, and released their third album Hot Cakes. It is a magnificent collection of rock. It is good, kind, fun, rocking rock. .
The Darkness are back, yes, and all fresh and shiny and new, gearing up for the release of yet to be titled album number four, with a lady hitting the skins. That's right! I said lady. Emily Dolan Davies is taking over the saddle for Ed Graham, whose awesomeness shall remain universally appreciated. Album four is nary a stones throw away so prepare yourselves.
So, if you want to ROCK, if you want to get your parachute pants out of the closet, if you want to throw on some fishnets and a miniskirt and throw caution to the wind, The Darkness is waiting for you. You like Les Paul's and Marshall amps don't you? Well, treat yourself! Feast your ears and eyes to the glorious buffet of awesomeness that The Darkness provides. Put down your boring mass produced soul-less mashed potatoes of music and fill up with magical, sumptuous, spicy deliciousness that is The Darkness.
And as for you kids, don't fret, all is not lost. There is hope for you yet. No longer will you have to sneak your rock under the covers at night, on a cassette and a walkman. No longer will you have to wait until your parents leave the house to dust off their LP's to get a good healthy dose of rock and roll. No, this is your time children, to rise up, and say, "I WILL ROCK!" and "ALL HAIL THE DARKNESS" for it is your time to shine!
Parents, are you worried that your music loving teen is becoming depressed and withdrawn? Have no fear, rock is here. The Darkness will cause your teen to stop drawing scenes of graveyards and ghosts and instead transform your child into a walking rocking thumb upping rainbow of awesomeness.
For a mere 15 pounds or so, you can purchase the newest release from The Darkness and be on your way to a happy place.
"Little Johnny was just so sad, always reciting "The Raven" and just staring hopelessly at his ipod, then I heard about "The Darkness"new album from a friend of mine, I thought they had broken up.I immediately purchased a copy of Hot Cakes and secretly downloaded it onto Johnny's ipod thing, and suddenly, he opened the curtains in his room. He started wearing better make up, and paying more attention to his hair. One night my husband caught Johnny in our closet, trying on his old parachute pants. We were so happy, my husband actually cried."
So, if you are looking for rock, if you are missing those loud beautiful melodies of a more positive time, smart rock, fun rock, rock rock, you will find it in The Darkness.
This has been a Public Service Announcement brought to you by Mother of the Gods.
