The G word. GROUPIE.

The word itself stirs up all sorts of images, teeny boppers hanging out by tour bus doors hoping to get a look at their favorite band member, key word, member. The scantily clad 80's style trussed up barbie types looking like they spent 3 hrs on make up-ing their wrinkled from cigarettes and too much booze and coke faces, young fan girls fangirling all over the place just about ready to pee their pants if someone from One Direction looks their way and more.

Groupies. Fan-girls. I have met MANY bands, "Oh you're a groupie?" Well, that depends on what your definition of a groupie is. Though there are groupies for everything from sports stars to chefs to actors to authors, this post is dedicated to band groupies, though the word has a negative connotation, and generally only applies to females, I'll try to...break it down.

Groupie type 1.

Does anything asked of them by a roadie or band worker to acquire a backstage pass to "meet" the band. No, I am not this type of groupie, though I have had the displeasure of meeting many a dimwitted bimbo who thought getting on her knees for a sweaty roadie would guarantee her a spot on a rock stars lap. Case in point, at one AC/DC backstage scene, where the band did not actually come out (which happens) I was walking out with a friend through the underground parking area at the Hartford Civic Center and two of these lovely ladies were walking ahead. There was an echo, being a parking area, and one said to the other. "I can't believe I sucked that guys dick for nothing." 

Um... I can! Back in the 80's Def Leppard had the old "special" passes that were given to only these ladies and so yeah, the band knew how it was acquired. 

Groupie type 1a.

Your more savvy version of groupie number 1. Sure sure, they might end up with a "DIK LIKKER" pass but they don't mind and soon after getting backstage by any means necessary, set their sights on bagging a band member, Any band member, any band, any time. Like collecting musical dickstains is their hobby. But hey, that's their thing and it works for them and well, live and let live. Just don't eat all the steak. 

Groupie type 2.

Your "fangirl" if you will. I'll admit, I have fangirled the shit outta some Hanson. In my 30's. Through connections (Groupie type 5) I had the great pleasure of seeing and meeting Hanson on a few occasions, and every time I felt like I was in the 5th grade seeing Shaun Cassidy in his white pants. The first time I believe was at The Orpheum in Boston. Through a connection a friend of mine and fellow Hanson fangirl got us a couple of legit tickets and all access passes. Now, Hanson were still young lads then, in their late teens I think and were heavily guarded, no matter, being the seasoned pros we are, we marched right up to them and had them sign programs and shake hands, much to the chagrin of their "handlers" who insisted on no photos, remember this was pre- cell phone camera days. After the show we spoke to Issac (guitar) about Weird Al, The Offspring and more. On another occasion, we received a meet and greet through a fund raiser and after a show in Providence, RI were hanging out with the boys backstage, they were sweet, kind, funny and cool. We were fans then and still are. Love you Hanson!

      Case Study Def Leppard:

 A picture is worth 

a thousand words.

When you are 16 and you spend a night in a hotel room hanging out with your best friends and your favorite band, well, what is better than that?

Pretty much nothing, except maybe telling your mom you are going camping 

and then driving to Rochester to do it all over again.

Photos by all of us.

Groupie type 3. Not quite a fan girl, but you do some sleuthing and creative artwork and slide right in.

A newbie if you will, a novice, pre-internet record company calling, pretending to be someone important, delivering gifts to hotels and leaving my number type.  You know, the I don't have a connection, yet, but I am going to make one, right after I make my own home-made backstage pass out of your cassette cover and laminate it with the machine next to the gumballs at Bradlees. 

Case study 1: Judas Priest. Nothing like the cover of Screaming for Vengeance all shined up hanging on a key chain can get you what you want, which is to meet Rob Halford and Glenn Tipton, hang out, have a beer, and not have to make your own pass for the next gig. 

Case study 2. The Beastie Boys. Oh what is this? Rolling Stone says The Beastie Boys pick girls out of the audience to dance in a cage on the stage? HELLO! Was I wearing a minidress and a judges robe? Maybe.  Did I march right up to the soundboard and tell the sound guy that I wanted to dance in the cage? Sure I did! I drank like 5 shots of tequila on the way down to the New Haven Coliseum. Was I standing in the cage next to a giant inflatable dick sans my robe when the first song No Sleep Till Brooklyn started? You betcha. Did I instantly sober up when I could see all of the people looking at me, doing my best to dance? Amen.

Remember the "Disc" camera? Yeah. easy to sneak in, shit pics.

Photos by Chris B. 

Groupie type 4. You belong there. The "fancy meeting you here". There is nothing quite as exhilarating as wondering how long it will take either the club workers or the band management to realize that you just walked right in at 3 pm during sound check and made yourself at home. This technique also slightly resembles Groupie type 3 only now, you have more balls, and don't bother with all of that extra effort. Occasionally, serendipity favors you and you get invited to a "Press Conference" for an unknown band named Pearl Jam, give the singer your number, he calls your house, and invites you to see them at CBGB's... but I digress.

Photo by KK Dubs

Case Study: The Red Hot Chili Peppers. With my partner in crime KKdubs, walking into the Living Room in Providence and hanging around long enough that the club's people sent other fans over to us to ask us for tickets, well, I'd say that was a success. Watching Anthony get his hair brushed and being heavily flirted with by a young newbie named John Fruciante was pure heaven.

Photo by KK Dubs.

Hung out, watched the show sitting on the stage underneath John, getting squashed and sweat on and the band wondering...who ARE these girls, just enough to get the balls to drive to Lamour in Brooklyn and do it again. And again, and again, until you were so confident, and recognized, that making conversation with security and bands alike was old hat, and when Megadeth and Overkill came around, well... you were Groupie type 5.

               Photos by KK Dubs

Groupie type 5.

Connected. Musicians are people too, and there are a lot of us "groupies" who, through treating the bands like actual human beings, manage to make connections, gain friends and access to the nucleus of our favorite touring circuses. We cringe at the term groupie, because, well, Almost Famous comes to mind and while what's her face tried to explain what the difference between "band aid" and "groupie" was, there really isn't much of a difference (see above) until you are called simply... friend. Easier for males to get past the groupie stigma, because it is assumed that a fan who is female and follows bands around only wants to bag a band member, when in reality, while that may be true for some, ALL of the so called groupies I call friends, are here first and foremost for the music. We LOVE music! We LOVE concerts, creative people, meeting new friends from near and far, the anticipation, the excitement, the energy in a room filled with music you love. When everyone sings along, from hardcore to Hanson, the vibe is what it is all about. And so what if you happen to play tonsil hockey once or twice with one of these dudes? Good for you! Just don't be a dick about it. We are fellow musicians, fans and friends, and I plan on being all three for another 30 years. Mick Jagger is in his 70's bro. Why the fuck not?

Case Study The Darkness: 

See my post

  "Have Personality, Will Travel"

        

             Photos by Deb H

Dylan and Justin 2013 Photo by me!

♥ Jamie  Rock On!

Next weeks blog-
The Rolling Stones, Radio City and Shine a Light
.

The Warped Report. The good, the bad, and the asphalt.

Ahhhh Warped tour. I'll admit, it was only my second one. Warped History I missed out on this fad in the late 90's through 2000's because I was busy being a hippie, having a kid, and hitting the local band scene if and when I got out. Last year I figured I'd give it a shot since my kid, who I prayed would play the cello and read Shakespeare and wear a uniform, decided to let her freak flag fly and begged me to take her to Warped.

TOURBUSGASM

I had a great time last year, finding out at the last minute that parents get in free.  That's right, free. I saw Black Veil Brides and Sleeping with Sirens and a bunch of other hot new bands, met some cool parents and had such a great time I decided that I would absolutely go again. And go I did.

Having just hooked up motherofthegods.com and deciding to get back into doing what I love, which is having fun, being funny, listening to music, getting turned on to new music, meeting people, talking, laughing and being creative, I thought a day at Warped would do me good.  And it did. I don't know if we get more than one ride on this roller coaster called life, but I am damn sure done with my ride needing constant repair and being out of fucking order. I'm going to get every last bit of fun I can out of this trip.

That said after a night of hair dying the kid and her blue haired friend were rarin' to go at...6:00 a.m. Yeah that's SIX. On a Sunday. But, whateves, I can hang. So I packed up the back pack-

1 laptop
1 charger
1 phone charger
3 bottles of ice water

Little did I know that I could have brought in a turkey dinner with all the fixins. AND the table, AND the chairs. That's right.  In the official Warped day instructions it says you can bring a backpack and a sandwich and some water, but lo and behold, parents who have been here many times were hauling chairs and umbrellas in.  It's the beauty of Warped for a parent and more venues should do it. Let the parents in free. The kids are safer and we are the ones with the cash.

Here's how it works, there is a VIP tent near the entrance, you show up with your kid and they give you a wristband, ours said "vendor" so not only did I get in free, I could go out to my car and go back in. Holy Shiznit. So, after getting my wristband, I was hanging in the line to go in and saw a male parent with a chair, I said "Hi!" and put out my hand "I'm Jamie." "I'm some redneck" he said... no I think he had a name but I forgot it after this exchange. "So they let you bring in chairs?" I said.  He replied, "Well if they don't I'll shoot em."

Awkward... errrr uhhhh ummm  bye.

Another not quite so trigger happy parent heard me and said "Yes, they do, they let parents do pretty much anything." and then her daughter spied a chair against the wall left over from Dave Matthews the night before.  (can't bring chairs to Dave bro)

So I stepped out of line, grabbed the chair and headed in when the doors opened.  The security pretty much just waved me in with the obligatory look into my backpack. I could have had a 5th of tequila in there! No matter, I'm a MOM! YEAH! The perks finally come in.

While out in line some kids were trying to get people to buy their music, walking up and down the line asking people to listen in to headphones-you got antibacterial wipes with that LOLOL-and they had a sign with like 15 bands listed on it- "We sound JUST LIKE THESE BANDS!" me- "Then why would I want to listen to you?" Was that mean? OOOOOPS!

If you have ever been to the xfinitycomcastmeadowsshithole then you know that the parking lot is paved with lava rocks and grit. This is where most of Warped is set up, but right inside the gate there is a little patch of grass and 2 trees where me and one other mom set up shop, I mean chairs and a blanket. She was from upstate NY this was her 5th warped.  An old timer. She clued me in to the turkey dinner.

It was a great spot to park and watch the kids shuffle in.  There were 14786 vendors and almost as many bands.  For 2 bucks you can buy a little printed map with the stages and schedules.
It is really fucking small and hard to read, especially if you are an oldie like me and need glasses. Make the thing bigger already. But it is a good way for the kids to plan out the day- note to Warped- how about some sort of app so parties can connect if they get lost or a tracker, so you don't have to whip out your phone when you are in the middle of a circle pit to see the text your friend just sent you because she just crowd surfed to the port a potties. Walkie Talkies next time.

There is a lot of stuff to buy. It all sucks. HAHAHAH no I'm kidding! But seriously, it is VERY commercial.  And with 47000 bands there it was hard to tell one booth from another. They all looked THE SAME save for Atilla's which looked like it belonged at Gathering of the Vibes, but at least it stood out.  And the irony of the day, all of the "misfits" of the teen world together and yet, they barely communicated with each other. So "different" yet....all the same.  They came, they moshed, they crowd surfed, and RAN LIKE HELL to the next stage to see whatever band they wanted most.  It was dizzying. Not for me though, I sat in my chair on the grass with my laptop and big hat taking it all in until my battery ran out-oh p.s. Xfinity theatre-don't you think your free wifi should work like oh I don't know, really fucking well since it's the Xfinity theatre? But I digress... There were more gauges there than in an F16 cockpit. I mean holy shit. Pepsi Cans. Put a Pepsi can in there and then come and talk to me. I... I just.  I can't.

In fact, the scene was so homogenized I got... a little... dare I say... oh god.. no... bored. My laptop died so I put it out in the car and came back in and started wandering around. I tried to talk to a few "adults" who had about as much personality as a pile of toilet paper, until I happily stumbled upon the booth for Unlocking The Truth and chatted with a nice lady there who told me all about how ULT3 got the record deal.  I had heard of them about a year ago when they were all over you tube for playing in Times Square.  There was a film crew hovering over them, it was...weird.  They are kids and though seeing them was a highlight in the day for me, I met the kids and Mom and Grandma, it seemed, exploitative somehow and creepy, but they were cool, and I love anything that reminds me of being young with all my friends in garages and band rooms, being excited about the future, and of course, rock.

Doug Wimbish form Living Colour is managing them now, and was there getting them set up.  I think they only played maybe 5 songs. There were a few technical glitches, Malcom, the guitarist's in ear monitors weren't working, but as soon as he took them out, he relaxed and his voice sounded clear and strong. The bassist had some cable issue but Doug and the other crew quickly fixed things but with such a short set it did impact the show.

Afterward I bought a shirt-one of only two things I bought- and Malcom's mom had the band sign it for me, by chasing the kids all down. I was surprised more people didn't go to the booth, but I think the cameras were intimidating, as people looked on in awe, and curiosity, rather than getting right in there.  Not me tho, I went full in. Later in the night, while back in my grassy grove, I saw mom pulling a wagon with all Malcom's gear on it. You go mom. You rock but really, make that kid pull it himself. Maybe she wanted to make sure nothing fell over, as it must have been like pulling a wagon over fucking shards of lava rock.

Have you been to the comfinity theatre? Holy shit the parking lot is like something out of Mad Max, but worse.  When the wind picked up it was like an asphalt storm. From the mosh pitting to the wind, dude, kids were covered in black soot. It looked like smoke, but nope ASPHALT! Can you move that to Rentcheler next year? Oh yeah kids, don't wear flip flops. But they do.

The one other thing I bought was a CD by K Flay- Again, something just different enough about her among it all to catch my ear and eye.

Dylan called me sometime during the day- "MOM! come over here, I am in line to meet The Color Morale" So off I went. There she was, all sweaty, with her blue fresh dye job sliding down her sun burnt face.  I hugged her, she started crying. She was so excited to be there, to be meeting Garret the singer, so nervous. By the time she got up there I had settled her down, wiped off most of her eyeliner, and bought her a pair of shorts for him to sign. He did, and graciously took a photo with her. I don't remember what she said, if she said anything at all, but he could tell how excited she was and hugged her, twice.

 Here are some GREAT shots by Dylan!

Born of Osiris

Mosh pitting!

AWESOME shots of Ice Nine Kills

Photo Credits: Dylan River Luzzi

After that we had some water and she was off.  I headed back into the shade and that is where I met my new friend Kelly, another cool mom, FINALLY! She smiled and came over and sat down and we hit it off right away. Super nice and cool, a fellow music lover with a teen age kid and we talked about the music, the kids, the days of the Grateful Dead shows, and more.  It was great meeting her, she had just seen Bruno Mars there and said he was phenomenal. Can't wait to go to some shows with her! (Maybe without the kids next time LOL)

Wrapping it up was Dylan mosh-pitting it to Atilla for 15 minutes and running over to Of Mice and Men for another 15 and then, thank the stars above, coming over and saying she was ready to go home! We got out of the lot in a mere ten minutes or less and were home in another twenty. Exhausted, sunburned, happy, covered in dirt, sore feet, but with great memories and a new friend for me.

A great day had by all, home in one piece.

Parents, seriously, take your kid to Warped tour next year. Bring a chair or two, some food, chill out and have a great time. More shows should let parents in for free, kids stay safer and should something go awry, you are right there.  Venues and bands make more money off the stuff the parents buy as most parents might consider the drop off if not for the free ticket. Win and Win.

Now, I need a nap.

Jamie ~ MOTG

Warped Tour!

Warped Tour today and we're getting ready to go! Last night the kids dyed their hair and got all their shiz together, me, I printed up a batch of MOTG stickers to hand out and had some bangin' nachos. Now we're up and raring to go at yes, 6am. I am debating bringing this computer, and bloggin all day, but it sure would have been easier with that tablet Dylan somehow froze, but I digress, Hold tight and I'll have a full report and photos later on! ROCK ON!

Oh the bands I have seen.

Being brought to a Grateful Dead show at age 4 seems like a good place to start. After that is was any and all local things my uncle's band "Fountainhead" played at when I was a kid.  He was the bassist, god rest his soul.  I wonder if he has more of an influence on my life than I thought at the time, and my own house was always full of music. But enough nostalgia, on with the list. Some of these bands were one night stands and some were multiple sightings, I'll highlight those.

The first real concert I suppose I went to was Shaun Cassidy at The New Haven Coliseum in 5th grade. Oh those white pants. Hey Deenie, won't YOU come out tonight! I probably wore my Andy Gibb T shirt. It wasn't long though until I started listening to Queen and Kiss and in middle school I think, If I am remembering correctly, I went to see The Cars. Now, in addition to all of the local bands I saw at the skating rink or the local band room, I began a lifetime of concert going, both large and small sometime in the 9th grade.

Here is a partial list of the bands I have seen: of course The Darkness, Duran Duran, AC/DC, Aerosmith, Accept, Anthrax, The Beastie Boys ( when I danced in the cage onstage) Cyndi Lauper, UB40, Pat Travers, Motley Crue , Van Halen, INXS, Ziggy Marley, Slayer, Hanson, Overkill, Pearl Jam(opening for Smashing Pumpkins and RHCP) RHCP, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Ozzy Ozbourne, Elton John, The Ramones, The Cult, Divinyls, Joan Jett, Yngvie Malmsteen, Rolling Stones, Black Flag, GBH, The Front, Bang Tango, Skid Row, Metallica, Sting, Def Leppard, Billy Squier, Cheap Trick, Tom Petty, Norah Jones, BB King, The Fabulous Thunderbirds, Tower of Power, NRBQ, Big Audio Dynamite, Steve Winwood, Alison Krauss, Robert Plant, Dave Matthews, Living Colour, 247 Spys, Bad Brains, Ray Charles, James Brown, Fleetwood Mac, Billy Idol, Buckcherry, The Wallflowers, The B52's, Ratt, Quiet Riot, Twisted Sister, Poison, Squeeze, Frankie goes to Hollywood, Dokken, Cinderella, Queensryche, Adam Ant, Whitesnake, Scorpions, Loverboy, Fishbone, Charlie Sexton, Soundgarden, U2, Black Veil Brides, Sleeping with Sirens, Megadeth, Testament, I'll add  more as my old brain remembers them, but this is a good start....

Be back with more! And 3 days till Warped tour! WOOT!

Grateful Dead-ing it with KK dubs In Boston circa 1996.  KK and I hit more RCHP and Overkill shows together than you can shake a stick at. My partner in crime and certified tour bus chaser!

Oh add Old Crow Medicine Show to the list. Jerry Garcia Band, Blues Traveller, Rat Dog, 

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Have personality, will travel.

What is a rock mom to do? Oh the trappings of society, woe to the misfit so alone. I have read some other blogs of late, ladies and gents blathering on about all sorts of nonsense, so I figured I'd join in and rap about things that I love, mainly music. Recently, well about 2 years ago, my love...rather my burning passion for The Darkness was rekindled when they toured and recorded a new album. I was the giddy attendee at 5 shows last year, meeting and greeting Justin Hawkins and company and I dare say it was the highlight of my past ten years on this planet. I was asked, by a rather close friend..."What is the big deal, why are you so into The Darkness?" Now being that this person is also a musician, AND an Aries, I was surprised he felt the need to ask.  But I laid it down to him like this..

The Darkness makes me happy. Period. When I am at a Darkness gig, there is no doubt in my mind about what I am doing.  I am in paradise, I am in love. I am in love with the band, the songs, the crowd, the strangers, the new friends.  I still lose sleep in anticipation and have knots in my stomach upon very early arrival at a gig. OH TOUR BUS HOW I WORSHIP THEE.  You know how kids get all excited when they see Santa at the mall, when they are like 5 years old? Like they are all hopped up on sugar plum fairies dancing in their heads? That's me.  all 47 years of me, before a Darkness show.

The Darkness just get it.  They are smart and funny and awesome, lovely, loud, rocking, manly men who do what they do and love what they do and it shows. I have seen them play in front of a crowd of 3000 and a crowd of maybe 700, always giving 110 percent. But enough about them, for now.  This is about me and the question, why? Why not. Why the fuck not. In a day where concert tickets can cost a full weeks salary or more, spending a mere 30 bucks to see The Darkness feels like an injustice is being committed against the band, who are here form the UK, flying and driving all over the place just to make me happy...at least that is how it feels. this is PRICELESS I think to myself thirty dollars? Well now I can afford to fly to Denver! It is as though The Darkness are there for you, the crowd, to be one with you, sing with you, dance with you, a communal vibe like none other I have seen and baby I have seen over like 500 concerts of all shapes and size.

People love sports of all kinds and they spend an insane amount of time and money to get that vibe, the same one I get when I see The Darkness. I don't hear many people questioning the motives of insane football fans or even UCONN fans, or god forbid baseball fans.  What is involved in a day at the ball park these days? Do you get to see anything like this?

I didn't think so...

I'll take my bands, my music and rock until I drop. Yeah, I just ripped off Def Leppard a bit. Oh you want to hear my Def Leppard story? Maybe tomorrow kids, I have to go water the garden. But before I go I will leave you with this. Oh and one more thing, The Darkness are recording a new album as we speak and you know what that means.. SUGAR PLUM FAIRIES!