Groupies. Fan-girls. I have met MANY bands, "Oh you're a groupie?" Well, that depends on what your definition of a groupie is. Though there are groupies for everything from sports stars to chefs to actors to authors, this post is dedicated to band groupies, though the word has a negative connotation, and generally only applies to females, I'll try to...break it down.
Groupie type 1.
Does anything asked of them by a roadie or band worker to acquire a backstage pass to "meet" the band. No, I am not this type of groupie, though I have had the displeasure of meeting many a dimwitted bimbo who thought getting on her knees for a sweaty roadie would guarantee her a spot on a rock stars lap. Case in point, at one AC/DC backstage scene, where the band did not actually come out (which happens) I was walking out with a friend through the underground parking area at the Hartford Civic Center and two of these lovely ladies were walking ahead. There was an echo, being a parking area, and one said to the other. "I can't believe I sucked that guys dick for nothing."
Um... I can! Back in the 80's Def Leppard had the old "special" passes that were given to only these ladies and so yeah, the band knew how it was acquired.
Groupie type 1a.
Your more savvy version of groupie number 1. Sure sure, they might end up with a "DIK LIKKER" pass but they don't mind and soon after getting backstage by any means necessary, set their sights on bagging a band member, Any band member, any band, any time. Like collecting musical dickstains is their hobby. But hey, that's their thing and it works for them and well, live and let live. Just don't eat all the steak.
Groupie type 2.
Your "fangirl" if you will. I'll admit, I have fangirled the shit outta some Hanson. In my 30's. Through connections (Groupie type 5) I had the great pleasure of seeing and meeting Hanson on a few occasions, and every time I felt like I was in the 5th grade seeing Shaun Cassidy in his white pants. The first time I believe was at The Orpheum in Boston. Through a connection a friend of mine and fellow Hanson fangirl got us a couple of legit tickets and all access passes. Now, Hanson were still young lads then, in their late teens I think and were heavily guarded, no matter, being the seasoned pros we are, we marched right up to them and had them sign programs and shake hands, much to the chagrin of their "handlers" who insisted on no photos, remember this was pre- cell phone camera days. After the show we spoke to Issac (guitar) about Weird Al, The Offspring and more. On another occasion, we received a meet and greet through a fund raiser and after a show in Providence, RI were hanging out with the boys backstage, they were sweet, kind, funny and cool. We were fans then and still are. Love you Hanson!
Case Study Def Leppard:
A picture is worth
a thousand words.
When you are 16 and you spend a night in a hotel room hanging out with your best friends and your favorite band, well, what is better than that?
Pretty much nothing, except maybe telling your mom you are going camping
and then driving to Rochester to do it all over again.
Photos by all of us.
Groupie type 3. Not quite a fan girl, but you do some sleuthing and creative artwork and slide right in.
A newbie if you will, a novice, pre-internet record company calling, pretending to be someone important, delivering gifts to hotels and leaving my number type. You know, the I don't have a connection, yet, but I am going to make one, right after I make my own home-made backstage pass out of your cassette cover and laminate it with the machine next to the gumballs at Bradlees.
Case study 1: Judas Priest. Nothing like the cover of Screaming for Vengeance all shined up hanging on a key chain can get you what you want, which is to meet Rob Halford and Glenn Tipton, hang out, have a beer, and not have to make your own pass for the next gig.
Case study 2. The Beastie Boys. Oh what is this? Rolling Stone says The Beastie Boys pick girls out of the audience to dance in a cage on the stage? HELLO! Was I wearing a minidress and a judges robe? Maybe. Did I march right up to the soundboard and tell the sound guy that I wanted to dance in the cage? Sure I did! I drank like 5 shots of tequila on the way down to the New Haven Coliseum. Was I standing in the cage next to a giant inflatable dick sans my robe when the first song No Sleep Till Brooklyn started? You betcha. Did I instantly sober up when I could see all of the people looking at me, doing my best to dance? Amen.
Remember the "Disc" camera? Yeah. easy to sneak in, shit pics.
Photos by Chris B.
Groupie type 4. You belong there. The "fancy meeting you here". There is nothing quite as exhilarating as wondering how long it will take either the club workers or the band management to realize that you just walked right in at 3 pm during sound check and made yourself at home. This technique also slightly resembles Groupie type 3 only now, you have more balls, and don't bother with all of that extra effort. Occasionally, serendipity favors you and you get invited to a "Press Conference" for an unknown band named Pearl Jam, give the singer your number, he calls your house, and invites you to see them at CBGB's... but I digress.
Photo by KK Dubs
Photo by KK Dubs
Case Study: The Red Hot Chili Peppers. With my partner in crime KKdubs, walking into the Living Room in Providence and hanging around long enough that the club's people sent other fans over to us to ask us for tickets, well, I'd say that was a success. Watching Anthony get his hair brushed and being heavily flirted with by a young newbie named John Fruciante was pure heaven.
Photo by KK Dubs.
Hung out, watched the show sitting on the stage underneath John, getting squashed and sweat on and the band wondering...who ARE these girls, just enough to get the balls to drive to Lamour in Brooklyn and do it again. And again, and again, until you were so confident, and recognized, that making conversation with security and bands alike was old hat, and when Megadeth and Overkill came around, well... you were Groupie type 5.
Photo by KK Dubs.
Photos by KK Dubs
Groupie type 5.
Connected. Musicians are people too, and there are a lot of us "groupies" who, through treating the bands like actual human beings, manage to make connections, gain friends and access to the nucleus of our favorite touring circuses. We cringe at the term groupie, because, well, Almost Famous comes to mind and while what's her face tried to explain what the difference between "band aid" and "groupie" was, there really isn't much of a difference (see above) until you are called simply... friend. Easier for males to get past the groupie stigma, because it is assumed that a fan who is female and follows bands around only wants to bag a band member, when in reality, while that may be true for some, ALL of the so called groupies I call friends, are here first and foremost for the music. We LOVE music! We LOVE concerts, creative people, meeting new friends from near and far, the anticipation, the excitement, the energy in a room filled with music you love. When everyone sings along, from hardcore to Hanson, the vibe is what it is all about. And so what if you happen to play tonsil hockey once or twice with one of these dudes? Good for you! Just don't be a dick about it. We are fellow musicians, fans and friends, and I plan on being all three for another 30 years. Mick Jagger is in his 70's bro. Why the fuck not?
Case Study The Darkness:
See my post
Photos by Deb H
Dylan and Justin 2013 Photo by me!
♥ Jamie Rock On!
Next weeks blog-
The Rolling Stones, Radio City and Shine a Light
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The Rolling Stones, Radio City and Shine a Light
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You should be getting paid! Thanks so much for all of that, it was awesome to relive those times through your words just as I remembered them. I'll never forget the first time I saw you running around the Agora Ballroom in your gold lame wig.
ReplyDeleteThank you KK. If not for you many of those magical and also private happenings would not have happened at all. More memories to come!
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