TOURBUSGASM
I had a great time last year, finding out at the last minute that parents get in free. That's right, free. I saw Black Veil Brides and Sleeping with Sirens and a bunch of other hot new bands, met some cool parents and had such a great time I decided that I would absolutely go again. And go I did.
Having just hooked up motherofthegods.com and deciding to get back into doing what I love, which is having fun, being funny, listening to music, getting turned on to new music, meeting people, talking, laughing and being creative, I thought a day at Warped would do me good. And it did. I don't know if we get more than one ride on this roller coaster called life, but I am damn sure done with my ride needing constant repair and being out of fucking order. I'm going to get every last bit of fun I can out of this trip.
That said after a night of hair dying the kid and her blue haired friend were rarin' to go at...6:00 a.m. Yeah that's SIX. On a Sunday. But, whateves, I can hang. So I packed up the back pack-
1 laptop
1 charger
1 phone charger
3 bottles of ice water
Little did I know that I could have brought in a turkey dinner with all the fixins. AND the table, AND the chairs. That's right. In the official Warped day instructions it says you can bring a backpack and a sandwich and some water, but lo and behold, parents who have been here many times were hauling chairs and umbrellas in. It's the beauty of Warped for a parent and more venues should do it. Let the parents in free. The kids are safer and we are the ones with the cash.
Here's how it works, there is a VIP tent near the entrance, you show up with your kid and they give you a wristband, ours said "vendor" so not only did I get in free, I could go out to my car and go back in. Holy Shiznit. So, after getting my wristband, I was hanging in the line to go in and saw a male parent with a chair, I said "Hi!" and put out my hand "I'm Jamie." "I'm some redneck" he said... no I think he had a name but I forgot it after this exchange. "So they let you bring in chairs?" I said. He replied, "Well if they don't I'll shoot em."
Awkward... errrr uhhhh ummm bye.
Another not quite so trigger happy parent heard me and said "Yes, they do, they let parents do pretty much anything." and then her daughter spied a chair against the wall left over from Dave Matthews the night before. (can't bring chairs to Dave bro)
So I stepped out of line, grabbed the chair and headed in when the doors opened. The security pretty much just waved me in with the obligatory look into my backpack. I could have had a 5th of tequila in there! No matter, I'm a MOM! YEAH! The perks finally come in.
While out in line some kids were trying to get people to buy their music, walking up and down the line asking people to listen in to headphones-you got antibacterial wipes with that LOLOL-and they had a sign with like 15 bands listed on it- "We sound JUST LIKE THESE BANDS!" me- "Then why would I want to listen to you?" Was that mean? OOOOOPS!
If you have ever been to the xfinitycomcastmeadowsshithole then you know that the parking lot is paved with lava rocks and grit. This is where most of Warped is set up, but right inside the gate there is a little patch of grass and 2 trees where me and one other mom set up shop, I mean chairs and a blanket. She was from upstate NY this was her 5th warped. An old timer. She clued me in to the turkey dinner.
It was a great spot to park and watch the kids shuffle in. There were 14786 vendors and almost as many bands. For 2 bucks you can buy a little printed map with the stages and schedules.
It is really fucking small and hard to read, especially if you are an oldie like me and need glasses. Make the thing bigger already. But it is a good way for the kids to plan out the day- note to Warped- how about some sort of app so parties can connect if they get lost or a tracker, so you don't have to whip out your phone when you are in the middle of a circle pit to see the text your friend just sent you because she just crowd surfed to the port a potties. Walkie Talkies next time.
There is a lot of stuff to buy. It all sucks. HAHAHAH no I'm kidding! But seriously, it is VERY commercial. And with 47000 bands there it was hard to tell one booth from another. They all looked THE SAME save for Atilla's which looked like it belonged at Gathering of the Vibes, but at least it stood out. And the irony of the day, all of the "misfits" of the teen world together and yet, they barely communicated with each other. So "different" yet....all the same. They came, they moshed, they crowd surfed, and RAN LIKE HELL to the next stage to see whatever band they wanted most. It was dizzying. Not for me though, I sat in my chair on the grass with my laptop and big hat taking it all in until my battery ran out-oh p.s. Xfinity theatre-don't you think your free wifi should work like oh I don't know, really fucking well since it's the Xfinity theatre? But I digress... There were more gauges there than in an F16 cockpit. I mean holy shit. Pepsi Cans. Put a Pepsi can in there and then come and talk to me. I... I just. I can't.
In fact, the scene was so homogenized I got... a little... dare I say... oh god.. no... bored. My laptop died so I put it out in the car and came back in and started wandering around. I tried to talk to a few "adults" who had about as much personality as a pile of toilet paper, until I happily stumbled upon the booth for Unlocking The Truth and chatted with a nice lady there who told me all about how ULT3 got the record deal. I had heard of them about a year ago when they were all over you tube for playing in Times Square. There was a film crew hovering over them, it was...weird. They are kids and though seeing them was a highlight in the day for me, I met the kids and Mom and Grandma, it seemed, exploitative somehow and creepy, but they were cool, and I love anything that reminds me of being young with all my friends in garages and band rooms, being excited about the future, and of course, rock.
Doug Wimbish form Living Colour is managing them now, and was there getting them set up. I think they only played maybe 5 songs. There were a few technical glitches, Malcom, the guitarist's in ear monitors weren't working, but as soon as he took them out, he relaxed and his voice sounded clear and strong. The bassist had some cable issue but Doug and the other crew quickly fixed things but with such a short set it did impact the show.
Afterward I bought a shirt-one of only two things I bought- and Malcom's mom had the band sign it for me, by chasing the kids all down. I was surprised more people didn't go to the booth, but I think the cameras were intimidating, as people looked on in awe, and curiosity, rather than getting right in there. Not me tho, I went full in. Later in the night, while back in my grassy grove, I saw mom pulling a wagon with all Malcom's gear on it. You go mom. You rock but really, make that kid pull it himself. Maybe she wanted to make sure nothing fell over, as it must have been like pulling a wagon over fucking shards of lava rock.
Have you been to the comfinity theatre? Holy shit the parking lot is like something out of Mad Max, but worse. When the wind picked up it was like an asphalt storm. From the mosh pitting to the wind, dude, kids were covered in black soot. It looked like smoke, but nope ASPHALT! Can you move that to Rentcheler next year? Oh yeah kids, don't wear flip flops. But they do.
The one other thing I bought was a CD by K Flay- Again, something just different enough about her among it all to catch my ear and eye.
Dylan called me sometime during the day- "MOM! come over here, I am in line to meet The Color Morale" So off I went. There she was, all sweaty, with her blue fresh dye job sliding down her sun burnt face. I hugged her, she started crying. She was so excited to be there, to be meeting Garret the singer, so nervous. By the time she got up there I had settled her down, wiped off most of her eyeliner, and bought her a pair of shorts for him to sign. He did, and graciously took a photo with her. I don't remember what she said, if she said anything at all, but he could tell how excited she was and hugged her, twice.
Born of Osiris
Mosh pitting!
AWESOME shots of Ice Nine Kills
Photo Credits: Dylan River Luzzi
After that we had some water and she was off. I headed back into the shade and that is where I met my new friend Kelly, another cool mom, FINALLY! She smiled and came over and sat down and we hit it off right away. Super nice and cool, a fellow music lover with a teen age kid and we talked about the music, the kids, the days of the Grateful Dead shows, and more. It was great meeting her, she had just seen Bruno Mars there and said he was phenomenal. Can't wait to go to some shows with her! (Maybe without the kids next time LOL)
Wrapping it up was Dylan mosh-pitting it to Atilla for 15 minutes and running over to Of Mice and Men for another 15 and then, thank the stars above, coming over and saying she was ready to go home! We got out of the lot in a mere ten minutes or less and were home in another twenty. Exhausted, sunburned, happy, covered in dirt, sore feet, but with great memories and a new friend for me.
A great day had by all, home in one piece.
Parents, seriously, take your kid to Warped tour next year. Bring a chair or two, some food, chill out and have a great time. More shows should let parents in for free, kids stay safer and should something go awry, you are right there. Venues and bands make more money off the stuff the parents buy as most parents might consider the drop off if not for the free ticket. Win and Win.
Now, I need a nap.
Jamie ~ MOTG
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